Wednesday, May 30, 2007
):
I'm truly sorry for what I've done all this while. I've not been praying, not even before night and talking and believing in God, not reading those things that will comfort and help me believe in God even more and have the faith that he will guide me through all these, and what today seems like seems what I deserved. Sighs. I hope that I can truly be a good follower of God. Ever since I stopped going to church it doesn't feel the same anymore. But I wish to go back and listen to the talks, just that I'm scared to go back ): In the past when I prayed and learned more about how God does things for us, I would always have a new strength surging through telling me that I can do it, no matter in what aspect. I was much better then. So I really hope that I can not be lazy and try to pray and read everyday. And, my schoolwork. I don't know what I like to drag about, and everytime when I cannot understand my work whereas others can, I feel stupid. I really have to pull up my socks! So, I must read and do my school work, read the bible everyday, and help out at home. I want all things at home to be better. Sighs. I seriously do not have the heart to forgive him. He is way too much. I know I can't think that way, but after so many years, I think that there's no other choice but for me to ignore his existence. I dislike him. A lot ): I've tried not to, but he's too....sigh. Anyway, I will try hard to improve myself, whether in school, work, family or friends. Of course, my need to know more about God! (:
Tide me over.
And, mum, be strong ):
5:04 PM endurance, risk and love
